Added note: This sums up a lot of the transformation in my thinking and new direction of my thoughts. It was inevitable. Growth happens to us all.
No… I didn’t fall into a hole, well, maybe figuratively…
I got hooked on Instagram.
i.e: I spent waaaay too much of my precious time on Gods Green Earth picking the perfect filter for the latest snap of my #morningbowl and ended up having to delete my account because I was actually starting to bore myself to death.
For those of you who are able to use Insta without getting totally addicted – bravo. I don’t know how the fuck you do it. I got sucked into the ugly world of dieting and posting about abs and how many crunches I had managed that day hoping to find someone in the #fitfam community to… I don’t know… connect with? Like my posts?
… and yes, I became one of those people who photographs their mediocre lunch and posts it – and might even lean over the table to get a good picture of your lunch, too! (I’m sorry to all the people I have shared a meal with and spent the first 3 minutes of every course photographing it like some kind of fucking lunatic.)
Now that I think about it, I can see I was lonely. I was living in a city I didn’t want to be in, working in a job I knew was a dead end, I had no creative outlets, I had only one vegan friend. I was looking for connection.
Guys, it was bad. I didn’t handle Instagram gracefully, but man did I delete the shit out of it when I realised what was going on!! …okay, it was like a month after I had realised what was going on but STILL – I deleted the crap out of it, I swear!
So what’s to be learned, Dasha?
- I have an addictive personality – this is why I don’t drink anymore, it’s why I regularly avoid cakes and sweets and stimulants of any kind (almost), and it’s why I need my Yoga practice to keep me from tipping… I have accepted that side of myself and made adjustments for it.
- It’s fun to revert back to being an adolescent sometimes. Sure, it made me feel like shit and ultimately was an enormous waste of time and energy (as was most of the things I engaged in between the ages of 13-20) BUT, fuck it. I’m not perfect. I got swept up, I made a mistake, I ate the forbidden fruit and spewed it up everywhere, but now it’s over, I’m sipping on my chamomile tea and I lived to tell the tale, so it’s not all bad.
So what else is new?
I’m doing an online Yoga Course. I’m learning a lot, and taking it slowly, and there is no Instagram involved.
I’m travelling with my partner in Spain. Time to spend some of that money we’ve spent a whole year saving! Right now we’re living on the coast beside a natural pine forest, enjoying the last of the summer and soaking up the fresh air.
I’m thinking up a whole new blog. This has been fun, but I’m in the mood for a whole new thang, so I’m letting it stew…
Thanks to everyone who has subscribed and sent me really kind words on this blog, you’ve been a ray of light in my experiment with finding my voice and seeking out my values. I look forward to part two of this journey! Once the new blog is up and running I will post the details in a final blog post, if you wanna keep hanging out 🙂
Adios amigos! Until next time 😉